1 00:00:02,698 --> 00:00:04,308 This is so gross. 2 00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:06,397 I don't understand why they don't just hire an exterminator. 3 00:00:06,484 --> 00:00:08,486 It's like, what is my rent even going to? 4 00:00:08,573 --> 00:00:10,488 Well, they gave you the bug bombs for free, right? 5 00:00:10,575 --> 00:00:12,490 Yeah, great, so, like, everyone in the building 6 00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:14,405 can just, like, mass murder all their own cockroaches? 7 00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:15,537 Ridiculous. 8 00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:17,147 Coming up on 1600 hours here. 9 00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:19,584 No, 4:00 p.m. sharp, are you kidding? 10 00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:20,977 Everyone in the building is doing it at 4:00 p.m. sharp. 11 00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:22,848 That-- that's what that is, 4:00. 12 00:00:22,935 --> 00:00:24,850 Okay, I knew that. 13 00:00:24,937 --> 00:00:25,721 Zero dark thirty! 14 00:00:25,808 --> 00:00:27,766 Zero dark 29! 15 00:00:27,853 --> 00:00:29,681 Zero dark 28! 16 00:00:29,768 --> 00:00:31,770 Zero dark 27! 17 00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:33,598 Zero dark 26! 18 00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:35,339 ... Zero dark three! 19 00:00:35,426 --> 00:00:37,385 Zero dark two! 20 00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:38,603 Zero dark one! 21 00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:40,736 Zero dark zero! 22 00:00:40,823 --> 00:00:42,259 Go! Go! Go, go, go! 23 00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:55,794 Hey, Ab.Oh. 24 00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:57,753 What's up, Jer? It's crazy. 25 00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,015 Nothing like the smell of a million dead bugs in the 26 00:00:59,102 --> 00:01:00,712 morning, right?I know. 27 00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:03,411 It's like an insect Holocaust in here or something. 28 00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:06,936 It would make us Mr. and Mrs. Hit-- Hitler. 29 00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:09,417 Like Nazis?Yeah, like the-- 30 00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:12,246 I mean, I just was--Yeah, have a good 24 hours. 31 00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:13,638 I wouldn't-- 32 00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:15,379 [coughing violently] 33 00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:16,772 It's in my mouth! 34 00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:19,035 ♪ Four and three and two and one, one ♪ 35 00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:26,869 And another thing, I know a girl who returned a vacuum 36 00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:30,177 after three years of using it, dude. 37 00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:31,874 They just gave her her money back. 38 00:01:31,961 --> 00:01:33,615 They really care about their customers. 39 00:01:33,702 --> 00:01:35,399 Okay, Ab, you know, you're spending the entire weekend 40 00:01:35,486 --> 00:01:37,358 at my place, just-- 41 00:01:37,445 --> 00:01:39,011 Spread out the Bed Bath and Beyond lectures. 42 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,622 I love the place, you know? I just. 43 00:01:40,709 --> 00:01:42,841 Yeah, fine, I just have a lot more to say about it, so. 44 00:01:42,928 --> 00:01:44,930 Great, you should tell me more while I transform my room 45 00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:46,323 into a walk-in closet. 46 00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:47,977 Dude, you're not doing the pole right now. 47 00:01:48,064 --> 00:01:50,153 It's gonna take me ten minutes, dude. 48 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,113 Okay, it's gonna take you three months, like everything does. 49 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,418 Did you forget about my art show?No, no. 50 00:01:54,505 --> 00:01:55,419 This is a big deal. 51 00:01:55,506 --> 00:01:57,247 Your first gallery opening is... 52 00:01:57,334 --> 00:01:58,857 I mean, this is the biggest moment of our lives. 53 00:01:58,944 --> 00:02:00,642 It's my life, but-- 54 00:02:00,729 --> 00:02:02,296 I mean, you're with-- you're with me. 55 00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:03,688 So when we get inside, I'm gonna shower first, okay, 56 00:02:03,775 --> 00:02:06,561 and then I'm gonna pluck my eyebrows, get my make-up on. 57 00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:09,172 I'll Nair, like, a bunch of different areas. 58 00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:10,826 Maybe you could massage my shoulders for a second, but, 59 00:02:10,913 --> 00:02:13,002 like, not like last time 'cause that wasn't cool. 60 00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:16,397 Abbi, I have some bad news, 61 00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:19,487 but it's white people problems, so let's see if you 62 00:02:19,574 --> 00:02:21,010 can keep it in perspective. 63 00:02:21,097 --> 00:02:24,579 I-- I don't have my key. 64 00:02:24,666 --> 00:02:26,494 Okay, first of all, I'm allowed to be upset 65 00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:28,757 even though I'm white.Typical honky. 66 00:02:28,844 --> 00:02:29,932 All right, we don't have time to be locked out. 67 00:02:30,019 --> 00:02:31,499 Is Jaimé home? 68 00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:34,241 He is in Vermont for a straight wedding. 69 00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,286 Let's just call a locksmith.No, I'm not calling a locksmith. 70 00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:37,766 They take forever to get here. 71 00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:39,637 I think we can get in-- We have street smarts. 72 00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:41,335 All right, there's got to be at least, like, 73 00:02:41,422 --> 00:02:43,075 one person home in your building, right? 74 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,512 Yeah, just a-- Hey, don't, don't-- 75 00:02:44,599 --> 00:02:46,731 Use the wood, dude.Oh, my God, all right. 76 00:02:46,818 --> 00:02:49,299 Wood, I mean... 77 00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:51,562 [electric buzzing]Jesus! 78 00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:53,695 Okay, okay, you need to move at some point. 79 00:02:53,782 --> 00:02:54,739 I know. 80 00:02:54,826 --> 00:02:56,741 All right. 81 00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:58,134 Where's your fire escape? 82 00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:00,832 Okay, hands on my shoulders on three. 83 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:04,445 One, two... 84 00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:05,359 Jesus. 85 00:03:05,446 --> 00:03:07,056 Sorry, I released too early. 86 00:03:07,143 --> 00:03:08,492 Okay, we got this. 87 00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:10,451 One, two... 88 00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:11,930 Okay. 89 00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:14,324 Okay.Okay. 90 00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:18,067 [grunting]Just one pull-up. 91 00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:20,722 I should be supporting myself-- dude, I work at a gym. 92 00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:23,725 There are so many upper-body strength classes. 93 00:03:23,812 --> 00:03:25,292 Okay, you got it? 94 00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:26,380 You got it? 95 00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:27,511 Do you have me?Here, I got you. 96 00:03:27,598 --> 00:03:28,730 Okay. 97 00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:30,862 I don't think it's gonna work out. 98 00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:33,952 [laughing]That was my bad, dude. 99 00:03:34,039 --> 00:03:35,606 Okay, you just, like-- 100 00:03:35,693 --> 00:03:37,782 You just went up inside me. 101 00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:39,436 Okay.That's just what happened. 102 00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:41,090 It was honestly not intentional. 103 00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:43,092 It was natural for me. 104 00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:46,269 Okay, who would you rather have go down on you? 105 00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:50,447 Michael Buble or Janet Jackson? 106 00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,754 Oh, okay. 107 00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:55,017 What Buble are we talking about, though? 108 00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:56,801 I don't know, the optimal Michael Buble. 109 00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:58,194 His weight fluctuates. 110 00:03:58,281 --> 00:03:59,630 Yeah.So does hers. 111 00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:01,153 Yeah.So does mine. 112 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,633 Yeah.But then again, 113 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,853 Michael Buble is, like, such a crooner. 114 00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:06,855 I feel like he could do stuff with his mouth that, 115 00:04:06,942 --> 00:04:08,639 like, most people couldn't. 116 00:04:08,726 --> 00:04:12,034 [distant shouting] 117 00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:15,777 Somebody call a locksmith? 118 00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:19,694 Yeah. 119 00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:23,219 I'm gonna look disgusting for tonight is all. 120 00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:25,047 No, you're gonna look hot and cool. 121 00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:26,875 Your shower is just a lockpick away. 122 00:04:26,962 --> 00:04:28,746 Very hot. 123 00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:31,271 Very cool. 124 00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:32,663 What's your name, sweetheart? 125 00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,709 Uh... 126 00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:36,624 Yolanda. 127 00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:39,191 Mmm. Yolanda. 128 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,715 So where is it you sleep? 129 00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:42,325 What? 130 00:04:42,412 --> 00:04:44,327 Which apartment's yours? 131 00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,024 Um... 132 00:04:46,111 --> 00:04:47,852 Do you have any, like, credentials? 133 00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:49,854 Or, like, a license to be a locksmith that you could 134 00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:51,639 just show us? 135 00:04:51,726 --> 00:04:53,162 No, the only thing you need to be a locksmith is 136 00:04:53,249 --> 00:04:55,773 you gotta want it. 137 00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:59,473 Real bad. 138 00:05:00,822 --> 00:05:02,432 That one. 139 00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:03,912 Yeah, it's this one, the 6-- 140 00:05:03,999 --> 00:05:06,480 6C. 141 00:05:12,703 --> 00:05:16,098 [amorous groaning] 142 00:05:19,144 --> 00:05:21,843 They call this a whore door. 143 00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:24,672 'Cause it's so easy. 144 00:05:24,759 --> 00:05:26,326 Okay. 145 00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:30,895 Thank you for your terrifying services 146 00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:32,680 and don't call us, we'll call you. 147 00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:35,509 Oh yeah. 148 00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,948 Oh, you'll call me, huh? 149 00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:46,563 [whistling] 150 00:05:50,828 --> 00:05:52,569 God. 151 00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:55,224 Look at this gorgeous immigrant family. 152 00:05:55,311 --> 00:05:56,704 At least they're not home. 153 00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:59,271 How do I not know them?I don't know. 154 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:02,318 New Yorkers don't usually know their neighbors. 155 00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:03,667 Except for me and Jeremy, 156 00:06:03,754 --> 00:06:05,626 just 'cause that's a special relationship. 157 00:06:05,713 --> 00:06:07,715 Yeah, I would know Jeremy, too. 158 00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:10,761 I'd know him in and up and all around. 159 00:06:10,848 --> 00:06:13,895 Cute little Mexican candies. 160 00:06:13,982 --> 00:06:16,027 They're Nerds. 161 00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:20,641 I am the problem. 162 00:06:20,728 --> 00:06:23,948 I am gentrification, you know. 163 00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:25,820 In three generations, gentrification is gonna be 164 00:06:25,907 --> 00:06:27,996 a non-issue because statistically, 165 00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:29,693 we're headed toward an age where everybody's gonna be like 166 00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:31,608 caramel and queer and everybody's gonna live 167 00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:36,744 where they're gonna--[doorknob turning] 168 00:06:36,831 --> 00:06:38,223 What the hell is this? 169 00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:39,486 I live next door, I live here! 170 00:06:39,573 --> 00:06:40,878 I've never seen you before! 171 00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:42,576 We got locked out and I was gonna make my room 172 00:06:42,663 --> 00:06:43,925 a walk-in closet and--Robbers! 173 00:06:44,012 --> 00:06:47,581 [screaming] 174 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:53,804 I'm gonna shoot you in the face! 175 00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,023 Wait, wait! 176 00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:56,111 I can prove that I live here, okay? 177 00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:57,982 Uh... 178 00:06:58,069 --> 00:06:59,636 Three-- three months ago, that old white dude 179 00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:01,464 was found chopped up in our dumpster. 180 00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:03,771 That happens all the time in Gowanus.Okay. 181 00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:06,513 Last week, one of you farted and I heard it 182 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:07,862 'cause the walls are so thin and I laughed 183 00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:10,995 and then you heard me, so you laughed. 184 00:07:11,082 --> 00:07:12,649 That did happen. 185 00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:14,042 Why are you in our apartment then? 186 00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:17,654 We got locked out and we called this locksmith 187 00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:20,614 and he was really scary, he was so creepy. 188 00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:22,833 We couldn't let him into our apartment, 189 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:27,098 so we had him let us in, uh, to your-- 190 00:07:27,185 --> 00:07:29,057 Unbelievable! 191 00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:32,364 Now that I say it out loud, I realize I led the creepy dude 192 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:36,368 to your apartment and I am so sorry. 193 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,414 I'm so sorry. 194 00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:41,112 'Cause of the-- I threw up. 195 00:07:41,199 --> 00:07:42,636 'Cause of the-- It was because of the mace. 196 00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:44,289 'Cause I never thought-- 197 00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:46,466 I haven't thrown up in like a year, I'm so sorry. 198 00:07:48,946 --> 00:07:50,644 Oh, yes.Oh. 199 00:07:50,731 --> 00:07:52,080 Oh, my God. 200 00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:53,385 I'm sorry I got you maced. 201 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,561 That's okay. 202 00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:56,127 It's not your fault. 203 00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:58,782 We're just technically homeless right now, so. 204 00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:01,829 Ben Affleck was homeless for a night for charity. 205 00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:04,919 We're, like, doing that, just involuntarily. 206 00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:07,312 Yeah, we're just a regular Matt and Ben. 207 00:08:07,399 --> 00:08:10,446 Exactly what's happening. 208 00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:19,760 [beeping] 209 00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:28,203 [beeping] 210 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:34,470 Oh, God. 211 00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:36,777 I am-- I'm so sorry. 212 00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:40,868 Listen, don't mess this up for me. 213 00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:43,044 I'm gonna be a teacher here one day. 214 00:08:43,131 --> 00:08:45,307 We are just gonna shower really quick and get to the gallery, 215 00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:47,875 and honestly, probably look better than if we hadn't been 216 00:08:47,962 --> 00:08:49,790 maced 'cause our pores are tight and burning. 217 00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:51,356 It's like we had a chemical peel. 218 00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:53,533 I-- I highly doubt that, so going right to the locker room, 219 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,926 if anyone sees me, it's gonna be a whole thing.Okay, okay, okay. 220 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,016 Oh, my God, there's Trey. 221 00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:00,975 Gonna really feel it in those glutes, okay? 222 00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:02,890 Okay, give me your stuff, give me your stuff. 223 00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:05,501 I'm out, I'm out, I'm out, I'm out. 224 00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,808 [Trey]Hey, Ab. 225 00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:09,897 Hey. 226 00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:11,768 Trey, I didn't think--Whoa. 227 00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:13,509 What happened to your face? 228 00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:17,034 Oh, it's-- It's really embarrassing, actually. 229 00:09:17,121 --> 00:09:20,168 I was-- I was doing parkour just now. 230 00:09:20,255 --> 00:09:21,952 Abbi, that's great. 231 00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:23,867 Using the city as your gym, very solstice. 232 00:09:23,954 --> 00:09:27,001 I did a backflip... off of a car 233 00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:30,134 and I fell right into a fire hydrant. 234 00:09:30,221 --> 00:09:32,006 That's-- It's a pretty advanced technique. 235 00:09:32,093 --> 00:09:34,008 You can't take a break from fitness, that's what I say. 236 00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:36,401 To myself.I wish I was as strong as you. 237 00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:39,056 I mean, sometimes I just go to Quizno's and I go nuts. 238 00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:40,231 It's bad. 239 00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:41,755 Quizno's is my guilty pleasure. 240 00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:43,147 Dennis, relax that face, buddy, okay? 241 00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:44,932 Relax that face. 242 00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:47,108 While I'm here, you know what, I should check out the locker 243 00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:49,632 room just to make sure that it's, like, up to code, 244 00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:52,809 nice and clean, just the way you like it, I'm gonna check it out. 245 00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:54,594 I'm gonna stop you right there, Ab. 246 00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:56,639 I know what this is really about. 247 00:09:56,726 --> 00:09:57,988 You're afraid of your own failure. 248 00:09:58,075 --> 00:10:01,078 Abbi, parkour is terrifying, I know. 249 00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:03,080 But you've got to get back on that urban jungle. 250 00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:05,256 I guess so. 251 00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:06,823 I'm glad to hear you say that 'cause I'm gonna walk you out 252 00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:08,825 and watch you do it, all right, come on.Okay. 253 00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:10,871 Dennis, keep squatting, I'm gonna do some parkour. 254 00:10:14,222 --> 00:10:17,834 [classical music playing] 255 00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:33,328 Kiehl's. 256 00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:39,900 Oh, yeah. 257 00:10:58,092 --> 00:10:59,441 All right, you speak parkour, right? 258 00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:01,748 Yeah, totally.Awesome. 259 00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:03,401 Show me a tic-tac on the hydrant. 260 00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:04,489 Come on.Okay, tic-tac. 261 00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:09,146 Yeah. Um... 262 00:11:09,233 --> 00:11:10,234 Okay. 263 00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:11,583 That's-- That's pretty good. 264 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,802 Do a cat pass under the hood. 265 00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:14,195 Cat pass?Do a cat pass. 266 00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:15,544 Okay. 267 00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:20,462 Beautiful. 268 00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:21,463 I want you to tic-tac right over the car. 269 00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:23,334 Tic-tac right over. 270 00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:24,640 Abbi, you're overcoming your fear, all right? 271 00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:26,642 Don't give up now, Abbi. You've got this. 272 00:11:26,729 --> 00:11:28,035 Arch that back, arch that back. 273 00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:29,645 That's a good hostage, okay. 274 00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:31,081 Come down and do a spit roast. 275 00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:32,517 You know what? 276 00:11:32,604 --> 00:11:34,519 Your full body is involved, so that's good. 277 00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:35,912 Beautiful, Abbi. 278 00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:37,174 Peek-a-boo Street. 279 00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:39,437 Abbi, you are a natural traceur. 280 00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:41,875 I want to see a jack in the pulpit in the bikes. 281 00:11:41,962 --> 00:11:42,919 Jack in the pulpit.Yeah. 282 00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:45,400 Totally.Okay, yeah, pump it. 283 00:11:45,487 --> 00:11:46,836 It's very Grecian. 284 00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:48,708 Tap, tap, tap, tap, good. 285 00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:51,406 Now I want you to do a Kong jump and a back handspring 286 00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:54,496 off the car, but don't let me anticipate the movement. 287 00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:59,283 You know, I-- I bet you that Dennis is not squatting anymore. 288 00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:01,111 Anticipation. 289 00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:03,157 Abbi, that's the makings of a great trainer. 290 00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:04,811 I think that I know--Thank God I am one. 291 00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:06,334 Hasta la vista, Abbi. 292 00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:07,161 Dennis! 293 00:12:07,248 --> 00:12:10,947 ♪♪ 294 00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:12,775 We are officially homeless. 295 00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:15,082 No, dude, we are standing and awake. 296 00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:18,476 You gotta be lying down to be really homeless. 297 00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:20,391 Sorry. 298 00:12:20,478 --> 00:12:22,350 Or officially dicks. 299 00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:25,135 You know what? This is insane. 300 00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:26,093 I'm changing here, just, like, cover me. 301 00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:28,269 This is, like, getting to be ridiculous. 302 00:12:28,356 --> 00:12:30,053 Okay. 303 00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:32,490 Oh, my God. 304 00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:34,318 Ilana. 305 00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:37,669 What did you do? 306 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,933 That solstice, like... 307 00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:42,196 They should, like, give you containers for-- 308 00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:44,154 You know, for--For what? Stealing lotion? 309 00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:46,374 What did you put it in? 310 00:12:46,461 --> 00:12:48,419 Those, like, plastic bags. 311 00:12:48,506 --> 00:12:50,073 Okay. 312 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:51,727 The plastic bags are for swimsuits and, like, 313 00:12:51,814 --> 00:12:55,383 dirty gym clothes, not for loose goo. 314 00:12:55,470 --> 00:12:57,777 Just an FYI, okay? 315 00:12:57,864 --> 00:12:59,474 This is just insane.I know. 316 00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:02,520 I can't believe that I'm gonna go to my first gallery show 317 00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:04,740 looking like this. 318 00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:06,220 You're ruining my big break. 319 00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:08,962 I mean, look-- look at me, I look like garbage. 320 00:13:09,049 --> 00:13:10,572 You know what? I'm going in. 321 00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:12,704 Wait.What? 322 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,706 This is the gallery?Yeah. 323 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:18,580 This is a sandwich shop. 324 00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:20,538 Or it's a gallery after 8:00 'cause they make people put 325 00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:22,192 their laptops away. 326 00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:24,716 You have been busting my balls all day 327 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,241 over a sandwich shop? 328 00:13:27,328 --> 00:13:29,069 You know what, dude? 329 00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:32,289 I think I want you to stay out here, 'cause I definitely don't 330 00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:34,161 want you coming in there if you're not gonna be supportive. 331 00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:37,338 Oh, I will absolutely be coming in. 332 00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:38,948 Oh, Jesus. 333 00:13:39,035 --> 00:13:40,689 You know what? Fine. 334 00:13:40,776 --> 00:13:42,778 I'll just park myself out here while you do your thing 335 00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,475 and you know what? 336 00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:46,651 In the meantime, I can just watch your bag and make sure 337 00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:47,957 nobody touches it.Fine, thank you. 338 00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:50,351 Yeah, you're welcome.I appreciate it. 339 00:13:50,438 --> 00:13:52,614 Anytime!God. 340 00:13:56,183 --> 00:13:57,706 ♪ My eyes cannot see the pain ♪ 341 00:13:57,793 --> 00:14:02,972 ♪ I walk in the dark I cry ♪ 342 00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:05,279 I'm sorry, can I help you? 343 00:14:05,366 --> 00:14:07,063 Oh, I'm one of the artists. 344 00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:08,412 One of the sandwich artists? 345 00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:11,111 No, I'm one of the-- the artist artists. 346 00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:13,504 Have any of the pieces sold yet? 347 00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:16,681 I know it's early.I haven't heard anything. 348 00:14:16,768 --> 00:14:19,641 But I highly doubt it. 349 00:14:19,728 --> 00:14:21,338 Well, no, it's just that people don't really come in here 350 00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:22,818 for the art. 351 00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:24,472 We're a sandwich shop. 352 00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:27,388 So we sell food. 353 00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:28,998 Would you like some? 354 00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:30,826 Are they... free sandwiches? 355 00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:33,481 You can order and then pay. 356 00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:35,700 Okay, so how it usually works. 357 00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,572 It's-- Yeah. 358 00:14:37,659 --> 00:14:40,357 High-quality lotion, I'm gonna take the lotion. 359 00:14:40,444 --> 00:14:41,881 God. 360 00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:43,970 [scoffs] Gallery. 361 00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:45,928 Step into reality. 362 00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:06,209 Oh. 363 00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:08,777 Ilana? 364 00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:11,562 Are you eating garbage bagels? 365 00:15:11,649 --> 00:15:13,260 Why are you here? 366 00:15:13,347 --> 00:15:16,828 Abbi sent me a Facebook invite to her gallery debut. 367 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:20,267 Do you... look... crazy? 368 00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:23,183 Mm-hmm. 369 00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:25,054 Yeah, I do. 370 00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:27,622 I got locked out and then I-- 371 00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:31,452 I just, like, ruined her night completely. 372 00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:34,150 I'm an idiot, I'm like a dumb ass. 373 00:15:34,237 --> 00:15:35,978 I, like, can't function. 374 00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:37,458 Oh, don't be so hard on yourself. 375 00:15:37,545 --> 00:15:38,894 Nobody's perfect. 376 00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,591 I'm not a perfect dentist. 377 00:15:40,678 --> 00:15:41,810 I eat candy all the time. 378 00:15:41,897 --> 00:15:44,030 I got, like, six cavities. 379 00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:45,379 Thanks-- thanks for--Ahh! 380 00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:46,597 Ooh, what? 381 00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:47,772 Oh. 382 00:15:47,859 --> 00:15:51,602 Oh, my God. 383 00:15:51,689 --> 00:15:53,735 Oh, my God. 384 00:15:53,822 --> 00:15:55,693 The keys to my apartment. 385 00:15:55,780 --> 00:15:57,478 Don't you ever tell Abbi. 386 00:15:57,565 --> 00:15:58,653 You can't ever tell her. 387 00:15:58,740 --> 00:16:00,524 You can't ever tell her this, this is-- 388 00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:04,876 I won't tell Abbi, but I've told you several times 389 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,182 and I'll tell you again, 390 00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:07,314 phone, keys, wallet-- Every time. 391 00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:09,881 Phone, keys, wallet, P-K-W. 392 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:13,929 Your brain is a muscle, Ilana, and I feel like that muscle 393 00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:16,018 isn't getting enough exercise. 394 00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:19,195 You need to do your brain kegels. 395 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:23,852 And five. 396 00:16:23,939 --> 00:16:25,332 Crushed it. 397 00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:32,469 That's my-- my drawing up there. 398 00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:34,210 You're in a good spot for it. 399 00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:36,430 I'll take the hamburger. 400 00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:39,650 Oh, that's actually not a menu item. 401 00:16:39,737 --> 00:16:41,478 It's art. 402 00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:43,350 We're actually a vegan sandwich place. 403 00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:44,916 I mean, I guess it's, like, ironic or something. 404 00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:50,444 Abbi's right. 405 00:16:50,531 --> 00:16:53,055 I'm not gonna make my room a walk-in closet. 406 00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:55,362 I was always anti-that idea. 407 00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:57,668 Who would want to live in a closet? 408 00:16:57,755 --> 00:16:58,974 Oh, my God. 409 00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:02,456 Because then I would be closeted. 410 00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:05,546 I was thinking more like who would want to live amongst 411 00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:10,551 their clothes, but also what you said. 412 00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:13,684 Either one.Let's just go in here. 413 00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:15,773 Okay, yeah. 414 00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:18,385 Is that lotion?Yeah. 415 00:17:18,472 --> 00:17:24,043 God, these bagels here are, like, very good, so. 416 00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:28,743 How's the, um, gallery going? 417 00:17:28,830 --> 00:17:30,223 It's not a gallery. 418 00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:31,789 It's a sandwich shop, you were right. 419 00:17:31,876 --> 00:17:33,922 And they don't really-- 420 00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:36,142 They don't even have meat, so I don't know if I would even 421 00:17:36,229 --> 00:17:38,970 consider it a sandwich shop, 422 00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,712 but... I'm sorry I was a bitch. 423 00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:44,193 Don't even worry about it, you know? 424 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,977 When a friend makes a mistake, 425 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:46,804 you forgive them blindly, right? 426 00:17:46,891 --> 00:17:48,502 Cool, yeah. 427 00:17:48,589 --> 00:17:51,418 I'm gonna go take a dump.Oh... cool, cool. 428 00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:54,116 Hey, Abbi, you gotta start somewhere. 429 00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:55,378 And look at the Hardy boys. 430 00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:58,077 They started out as kid detectives, 431 00:17:58,164 --> 00:18:00,644 just solving mysteries in Bayport 432 00:18:00,731 --> 00:18:04,431 and now they have an entire book series about them. 433 00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:06,607 Yeah, definitely, but you know, they are, like, 434 00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:10,089 fictional characters, but I appreciate the... 435 00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:11,699 sentiment behind it. 436 00:18:11,786 --> 00:18:14,354 Thanks for coming, Lincoln.Thanks for inviting me. 437 00:18:14,441 --> 00:18:16,443 They wouldn't accept me in the bathroom, 438 00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:18,793 so I'll just go at your place. 439 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,838 We're staying over, by the way.Sleepover! Yes. 440 00:18:20,925 --> 00:18:22,666 I need this day to end. 441 00:18:22,753 --> 00:18:24,364 Hey, your drawing sold. 442 00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:26,801 Oh, my gosh! 443 00:18:26,888 --> 00:18:29,020 I think I'm gonna quit solstice, I mean, focus on my art. 444 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,066 So you have two options. 445 00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:34,722 You can take your cut of the proceeds, which are $17.50, 446 00:18:34,809 --> 00:18:38,291 or you can get a credit for, like, three sandwiches. 447 00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:40,467 $17.50.Yeah. 448 00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:41,424 Okay. 449 00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:43,774 And there's no meat.No. 450 00:18:43,861 --> 00:18:45,863 Okay, how big are the sandwiches? 451 00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:46,908 Like, substantial? 452 00:18:46,995 --> 00:18:48,475 We-- Sometimes. 453 00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:50,216 That's not-- That's not like a sandwich. 454 00:18:50,303 --> 00:18:52,261 That's a teeny sandwich, right? 455 00:18:52,348 --> 00:18:53,654 Some people are full on that. 456 00:18:53,741 --> 00:18:55,177 Okay, well, I'm not normal people. 457 00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,439 Okay.I don't-- 458 00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:59,355 Tofu is in them. Is it thick? 459 00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:01,052 I don't know the degree of tofu-ness. 460 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,184 You have no idea the degree. 461 00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:03,707 There should be some sort of scale. 462 00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:07,189 Okay, to-go coffee mugs, you guys must have that. 463 00:19:07,276 --> 00:19:08,756 Do you know what a sandwich is? 464 00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:10,497 Do you? 465 00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:13,500 'Cause you don't have any meat in them. 466 00:19:13,587 --> 00:19:15,284 There's no meat in the sandwiches. 467 00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:18,244 Just an FYI, that makes the sandwich.That's funny. 468 00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:20,159 Do you guys have Naked juices? 469 00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:26,165 Hello. 470 00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:28,167 Oh, so you bought the drawing. 471 00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:29,168 Two of my favorite things. 472 00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:30,299 Art and Abbi? 473 00:19:30,386 --> 00:19:32,388 Um, hamburgers and Abbi.Oh. 474 00:19:45,706 --> 00:19:46,663 Okay, I just-- 475 00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,970 I kind of want to hold it. 476 00:19:49,057 --> 00:19:51,712 All right. 477 00:19:58,849 --> 00:20:02,853 [whistling] 478 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:12,863 [man] Yolanda. 479 00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:15,605 Yolanda. 480 00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:20,175 I wanna pick your little keyhole... 481 00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:22,177 Ahh! 482 00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:25,615 Yolanda! 483 00:20:25,702 --> 00:20:27,617 No! 484 00:20:27,704 --> 00:20:29,097 Yolanda! 485 00:20:29,184 --> 00:20:31,578 Why? 486 00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:36,409 Why? 487 00:20:36,496 --> 00:20:39,629 It's just a keyhole! 488 00:20:43,067 --> 00:20:44,243 [locksmith screaming] 489 00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,853 Why? 490 00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:50,727 Why? 491 00:20:50,814 --> 00:20:54,775 [screaming] Yolanda!